The Anatomy of Communication in a Relationship!

The main issue is the lack of communication! It is a skill that people in relationships lack all over the country, but I feel like it is especially an issue in the lower financial class, and under educated households.  Communication is a natural and nurtured reaction and skill. I say it is both nature and nurture driven because yes some people are just great communicators, but the way they choose to communicate is just as important as the act itself.

In a lot of relationships both sides bring baggage and the lack of effective communication is 1 big suitcase that people lay on their mate’s emotional floor! Plus if a person has not seen an effective relationship where communication is vibrant, successful, respectful, and integral then they are most likely to bring that broken style of communication into their relationship as well. The faults of cheating and revenge, and spite are all acted out in most cases because people refuse to just admit they have made mistakes, or feel a certain way about the transgressions of their mate, yet they don’t know how to tell them verbally, so they act out instead.

A simple talk about financial stress and feelings of not want and abandon can be resolved by both parties sitting down and discussing the when’s and why’s of their relationship saving them from committing crimes of the heart against the other person, because they are to filled with the anxiety, embarrassment, and fear they are filled with when they think of just talking about their feelings. This issue is not just a man’s problem; it is a sickness and disease both sexes have.

Men call it pride and foolish terms such as “me being me”, and “this is what men do” when they are explaining their childish behavior, and their inability to talk and effectively communicate their feelings. Mainly because they weren’t shown an image of a man even doing that for a fear he would be conceived as weak or gay!

Women on the other hand have no issue with discussing their emotions and issues with their friends, family, and strangers, but when it comes to their mate they clam up on the true important matters and focus on trivial things that the man has no idea of why it even matters!  Which cause a void of trust and faith and opens the door for lies and deception on both part, yet their mothers and girlfriends will know the whole scoop! Their childish behavior is brought on by a fear of being alone, and missing out on “a good thing” because if they just show a man the image they think the man thinks he wants to see, then he will never leave them. Even though we all know this is false.

Honest and truthful communication a clean slate and realizing not all issues have resolutions that are prevalent and immediate, but if the issues are on the table then they can be worked on and ironed out between both parties, as long as they are committed to doing so and bringing all issues to the fore front can only relive stress, and avoid ignorant and permanent damage effecting all sides of people physically and emotionally!  It will also break the mold of ineffective communication for your children because they will see how adults are supposed to handle life amongst each other, and in business dealings as well. Effective and decisive communication builds confidence and integrity in people, and also shows a person’s worth in way that is immeasurable.

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Tupac the missing link between Martin Luther King and true social equality

Tupac Shakur’s image and vision of his “Thug Life” mentality, was not the perverted and massively distorted vision and oxymoron  that Bob Dole and Dolores Tucker made it to be instead he was really reaching out too and talking to the single parent home, the hungry, the under and uneducated, unemployed, the downtrodden, and the forgotten American whether he/she be black, white, or brown!  Unfortunately his image and legacy is one consumed by ignorant and confused people who only saw the raw un-molded, uncut, confused and mislead young man who was actually the Next evolutionary figure in the battle for Civil Rights!

His aim was too picked up where his mother and other Black Panther leaders left, his message delivery was just, as if not more powerful than the quiet and peaceful marches and respectable manners for which Martin won our freedom as a race, but where Tupac differed is he didn’t have the respect, honor, and social acceptance as Martin eventually earned.

Instead it was a brash, young angry, and uncontrolled message that couldn’t be caged his fury and power wasn’t like that of Garvey and Malcolm X who both led with honor, dignity, and control. Instead Tupac’s audience had no guidelines or outline for success they had no road map to change they just knew where they was, and where they didn’t want to be. Tupac’s guidance was too influenced by the street life he saw, and also by the street life that the record producers, and record companies wanted to make sure got across because it was making money!

So instead of the millions listening to his message of revolution against the white people, and the Government his message came across like he was saying revolt against anyone that has more than you, including each other! Unfortunately that’s where it all went downhill, because the ignorance and laziness of poor people, along with the guile and sneaky intelligence of the Jews and other foreign music and movie companies he was guided to put a cage on his real message and make music that these fools and women wanted to listen to!

The reason I call Tupac the “bridge” is because Martin’s no violence and peaceful message had done all it could do for the African! Once the South was assumed to be “free” and Jim Crow was publicly outlawed, (though we know some still kept it as law) the fight for Martin was moved to the North were many of the blacks fled whether it be Oakland California, or Chicago Martin realized his job was still incomplete!

As Martin came into these new places were blacks were now living amongst the secret code of Jim Crow aka “James Crow”  he wasn’t being ran out-of-town or locked up by the local sheriff. No see they had a better smarter, craftier way to deal with him, they instead welcomed him to their city. Because they witnessed how being violent didn’t work in the South it only created a picture that displayed blacks as the victim and the  oppressor was the White man, well these images and characteristics would only deliver sympathy and rouse some of the soft white people’s heart-strings to feel a guilt for the black mans situation!

A bigger enemy to the black mans survival in the North was also present The Immigrant! The immigrant all though he wasn’t American and didn’t lift a hand to build America like the Africans did with their blood, sweat, and tears, they mostly fit in because they looked the same as Americans, they were white! Since this was the norm for them their only discrimination’s came down to each other and it was mostly religion based.  The immigrant was already in the North working the good jobs in manufacturing and processing and the black just had to take the customary low wage and fill in for strike pay type of jobs. The major issue here is the immigrant didn’t have the same white guilt the American white had for the Negro considering they were already considered to be better than the black when they stepped off the boat. They were able to form unions and they owned neighborhoods and communities they were the policemen and secretaries, the firefighters, and the lawyers, judges, and prosecutors by the time the black man got up north they even had the crime market on lock.

These were the rules and the way of life. With this already being set as the standards on how cities were going to be ran the politicians which came from these immigrant homes and communities didn’t have to worry about fighting Martin L. King and his black marchers being an issue or a real impact because they knew the old style communities would fight the battle for them.  See what I am saying is the no violence approach to civil rights wasn’t and didn’t work in the North because in many cases the white skinned, and olive-skinned people in the north weren’t the same white people who brought Negros from Africa on boats and whipped and made us slaves. No these fair complected people have no connection with blacks and only know that they can dance, and sing but besides their strong back and refusal to fight back for their own rights they felt as if they were better than them from the beginning. See the plight to America from a foreigner’s point of view was a new chance on life, freedom religious, and other wise they had fought in their own civil wars in their homeland and new that America could be a new way to fortune and a great place for their children and their children’s children to grow up and live great dominate lives.  In this reality of differences is where I think was the Jewish, Polish, Italian, Scottish, Irish, and German immigrants major trifle and therefore argument with the African-American.

I think they saw a weakness and laziness in the fact that this whole nation of Africans had allowed themselves to be slaves and allowed their children to be enslaved as well. The bigger fact and more evident product of slavery isn’t the physical aspect of it, it is the mental slavery in which my beautiful race still allows itself to hold it hostage! We haven’t broken the mental constraints of stepping out on our own, trusting and believing in each other, and putting ourselves first before anyone else!

This was more a of a brain dump for me at times it was all over the place and times it hit dead on, check it out and tell me where it guided your thoughts!

Hipocratic Society

I mean people seem to think that a stint in the jail house is some sort of restitution or real quality punishment for a crime! Look as you and I both know once a “crime” is commited it reaches well beyond the criminal and the victim and thats on both sides some people put more thought into thier choice of shoes than they do on whether or not too commit a crime and if they are caught then that is a self imposed black eye didn’t anybody do it to them, and if your in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong people choose your friends better! The real issue here is the same as with many of the nations new issues alot of people don’t care about things until it affects them for years plenty of people ahve been against drugs, drinking, homosexuality, abortion, etc… but the difference is now thier kids, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts and uncles are those very people they have such distane for previously and now their thoughts  and feelings have changed and they start making excuses for the same people because its thier son, or daughter, etc… thats what cracks me up is the hipocratic attitude we have adopted as Americans.

Exactly! The fear that working for your self and building yourself up alot of politicians mostly Dems place in advertisments and on speeches and they always put the dirty little black children out there for dispaly and they use the worst examples of people instead of asking the working poor and mid income people who “make too much” for assistance but at the same time they are the ones actually struggling! Day care, groceries, bills, rent/mortgage, no help from anyone besides an occasional church program or family member thats just as poor, but be lazy or work just enough and the goverment handouts are plenty and abundant; its a shamockery state of situations the way your treated for being independent and standing up proudly! Blacks have had a me first attitude since the master whipped the biggest slave to death instilling fear in the woman and the weak men so they would covet thier children and pass that type of fear onto them the fear that sticking up and speaking out would lead to your demise so acceptance of ignorance as long as a handout was there for you was to be accepted! Not until WWI did blacks really realize that there was a way out of the South and they could and did deserve more but where they failed was in the lack of effort to get their brothers and sisters mothers and fathers that remained to buy into that same notion and the slave mentality although decades removed from that era still remained fresh in many peoples heads which kept them accepting those hand outs and beliving they had a friend in Mr. Bob! But the whole time they friend Mr. Bob was eating good off thier choices and they still feeding the machine that Mr. Bob created because there is a fear of what might happen if they actually tried to become great and break free of the ignorance they call reality! We as blacks used to hold our heads high that our children were orderly, and we looked decent and kept our business prrivate now look at us! Just watch television and see the bafoonery and foolish images we are betraying now, it is worse than it was during the minstrels of the south and black face Amos and Andy but the worst part is we don’t even care!

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THE CLUB EPIDEMIC!!!

Hopefully 1 day black people will realize the “club” is nothing but a distraction created to keep us down trotten, ignorant, lustfull, and dazed of alcohol and drugs! Peoples lives are at stake, and instead of taking time to invest in thier own future, and ensure thier kids future they fall for the ignorance and foolish ideas of a workless, crimes pay, self indulgence, and childish like dream the “artist” put on cd’s and the DJ blast over the public speakers, all used as mental drugs and hyptnosis to keep us down and not following a realistic dream, to help themselves and help others!
At home is where you need to be tending to your children and your responsibilities, if you have none then choose someone better than a slick talkin man, or a hot crotch permiscuous slut, because no matter what neither 1 of them can be changed! That is if you respect and love yourself, if not then “PLAYA PLAY ON!”